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Reflections of a Matchmaker

Dating Tips for Widows & Widowers Ready to Find Love Again

December 18, 2020
an older couple on a boat

Coping with the death of your partner can be a difficult process that offers no clear path for you. Some people feel ready to date again after a few months while others choose to wait several years. The grieving process is different for everyone. Once you decide that you are ready to enter the Pittsburgh dating scene again, you might feel nervous about the prospect of meeting new people. 

Keep these 6 tips in mind as you navigate through this exciting process. 

6 Tips on Re-Entering the Pittsburgh Dating Scene by a Professional Matchmaker

Don’t forget these expert dating tips as you navigate through the Pittsburgh dating scene

man and woman enjoying bottle of wine
Don't be afraid to try new experiences

For many widows, the idea of dating after dealing with such a devastating loss can seem daunting and completely out of reach. But it is possible to find love again. As you begin dating again, keep these tips in mind for meeting compatible people and enjoying your new dating life. 

1. Make Sure You Work Through Your Grief Before Dating Again

Some people try to rush through their grief by making a quick return to the Pittsburgh dating scene. Others might start dating, only to quickly realize that they have not completely moved on yet. The grieving process can be long and complex, so don’t feel guilty about carrying mixed feelings toward meeting new people. 

Unfortunately, there is no set end date to know when you are ready to start dating again. You aren’t going to suddenly wake up one morning and feel completely “okay.” There will be a mixture of good and bad days as you go through this process. If you’ve realized that you aren’t ready to date it’s okay to take a small break from dating. Talking to a grief counselor can help you sort out your emotions and make an honest decision about whether or not you’re ready to date at the moment. 

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Honest About Your Situation

You don’t necessarily have to bring up your old partner within the first five minutes of your date. But you don’t have to completely hide your past either. Some widows and widowers are afraid that some people will think that they will never be able to open themselves up to love again. As a result, they are tempted to keep this part of their past locked away for the time being. 

A suitable partner will understand that your past doesn’t define you. 

3. Try Not to Compare New People to Your Spouse

Some men and women find themselves comparing their dates with their deceased spouses. But by making these comparisons, you are closing yourself off to new experiences with potential partners. 

Truth be told, you won’t find anyone who is exactly like your spouse. Part of the things that made your relationship special was the unique bond you shared together. While no one can replace your deceased spouse, you can still create a genuine relationship with someone else that holds its own special significance. 

4. Remember to Be Yourself

Romantic couple dating in the winter forest
Show off your personality during dates.

Meeting new people can sometimes be stressful. You want to make a good first impression. However, it has probably been a while since you’ve gone on a first date. If you’re feeling nervous, remember to take a deep breath. Instead of trying to act in a manner that you think appears attractive to your date, just be yourself. Showing off your genuine personality will make it easier to make strong and lasting connections in the long run. In fact, forget the word “date”, and just enjoy the other person’s company.

If you’re feeling a little nervous before a first date, try these methods for boosting your confidence!

  • Listen to lively and energetic music while getting ready
  • Recite positive affirmations to yourself before leaving
  • Wear something classy yet comfortable

5. Don’t Rush Into Something You Aren’t Ready For

As you re-enter the dating scene, it’s ok to move at your own pace. Maybe you just want to start out with a few casual coffee dates. Or you may prefer to stick to virtual dating because of the pandemic. Setting boundaries and sticking to your expectations can prevent you from rushing into a serious relationship that you aren’t emotionally prepared for. 

6. Remember That Feeling Guilty is Normal, But Possible to Move Past

couple sitting at restaurant
You deserve to find love again.

It’s normal to feel guilty about dating at some point. But you shouldn’t let this guilt prevent you from finding love and happiness again. Your spouse would want you to be happy. Dating someone doesn’t tarnish the relationship you shared with them. 

Jumping back into the Pittsburgh dating scene can be concerning. You might worry that you won’t meet someone as wonderful as your former partner. Or that you will never be able to completely move on from the past. But it’s important to keep an open mind and have fun! Following these dating tips can help you make a successful return to the dating scene!

Are you interested in working with a professional matchmaker? Contact us today to learn more about our professional matchmaking services!

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