You've matched. You've messaged. Now it's time for an actual date — except one or both of you would rather not commit to dinner reservations just yet. That's where a virtual date comes in, and done well, it can tell you more about someone in forty-five minutes than a week of texting ever could.
The trouble is, most video dates default to the same format: two people, one screen, and a slow trickle of small talkuntil someone finally says "well, this was nice." A virtual date works a lot better when there's something to actually do together — because shared activities take the pressure off conversation and let a connection happen on its own.
Not sure where to start? Here's a quick reference for choosing a virtual date based on how you're hoping the evening feels.
Mix up your favorite cocktail, glass of wine, or beer together.
Virtual dating didn't disappear once in-person dating fully returned — it just found its real purpose. A video call has become a genuinely useful step for singles who want a low-pressure way to gauge chemistry, communication style, and humor before investing an evening in an in-person date. It's especially practical when you're getting to know someone who doesn't live close by, or when calendars simply don't line up for a proper first date right away.
None of that requires elaborate planning. It just requires picking something interactive, instead of leaving the whole date to conversation alone.
If you'd rather ease into things than dive into a high-energy date, start simple. A virtual coffee or tea date keeps expectations comfortably low — you each make your own drink, hop on a call, and treat it like any other coffee date, just without the shared table. It's a smart choice for a first virtual date specifically because there's no pressure to fill the whole hour.
A synced movie or show night works well for a second or third date, once you've got a bit more comfort built up. Most major streaming platforms support browser extensions that sync playback between two screens, so you can react to the same scene at the same moment — snacks optional, but recommended.
For something a little more hands-on, try cooking the same recipe together over video. Pick something simple ahead of time, prop up your phones in the kitchen, and cook side by side. It's interactive without being intense, and there's something disarming about laughing through a shared kitchen mishap with someone you've only just met.
Competitive energy tends to bring out someone's real personality fast — which makes games a great choice if you want to skip past the more guarded, surface-level version of a first date.
Online trivia is an easy entry point: low stakes, built-in conversation, and a natural excuse to tease each other a little. For something more classic, many board and card games now have free online versions, or you can each buy your own copy and play "in sync" on a call — old standbys tend to work best here, since neither of you has to learn new rules mid-date.
If you're both into it, a cooperative video game can work surprisingly well too. It takes the pressure off constant eye contact, and watching how someone handles teamwork (or a little friendly frustration) tells you something real about them.
Some of the most memorable virtual dates lean into shared curiosity rather than romance-movie tropes. A virtual museum tour lets you explore world-class collections side by side — take turns choosing which exhibit to "walk through" next, and you'll learn a lot about someone's taste along the way.
For something a little more playful, try "visiting" a new city together using an online map tool's street view, narrating what you'd want to do if you were really there. It's a relaxed way to learn about someone's travel style and sense of adventure without asking a single generic "so, do you like to travel?" question.
Zoo and aquarium live animal webcams are a surprisingly charming option too — there's something about reacting together to a sea otter or a giraffe that loosens up a conversation faster than most conventional icebreakers.
If the goal is genuine conversation rather than an activity, a well-designed question-and-answer game is hard to beat. Look for one built specifically around meaningful connection — most move from lighter warm-up questions toward more substantial ones as the date goes on, which takes the guesswork out of what to ask next.
A bucket-list swap works well too: each person brings five items — places to travel, restaurants to try, weekend adventures — and talks through why each one matters to them. It's a natural, low-pressure way to learn about someone's values without it ever feeling like an interview.
And if the date is going well, don't be afraid to spend the last few minutes planning what an in-person date might actually look like. It gives you both something concrete to look forward to, and turns the virtual date into a genuine first step rather than a placeholder for the real thing.
A few small choices tend to separate a virtual date that feels genuine from one that feels like a work call:
Yes — many singles now use them intentionally, not out of necessity, as a low-pressure way to build a connection before meeting in person, especially when schedules are tight or someone lives outside the local area.
Something low-key and interactive works best. A coffee chat or a question-and-answer game takes the pressure off without requiring much advance planning, which makes it easier to relax into the conversation.
Completely normal, especially in the first few minutes. Choosing an activity to focus on together, rather than relying purely on conversation, tends to smooth that awkwardness out quickly once you both have something to do besides stare at the camera.
If it's going well, yes. A virtual date works best as a step toward an in-person meeting, not a permanent substitute for one — ending the call with a loose plan for a future date helps keep that momentum going.
A great virtual date only matters if you're spending it with the right person. If you're tired of putting effort into dates that go nowhere, reach out to The Modern Matchmaker to talk about a more intentional way to meet people who are actually compatible with you.
